The Very First Blog

Liesl and I are trying to write a book together, although I don't think either of us really know which direction to take. In order for us to really tell our views on open adoption you have to learn of our story first. You have to get the background, get to know us and our precious son Jaden. Open adoption is still new to many people, it is new to Liesl and I and we are still learning each and everyday. It is not an easy road, as I am certain you will learn more about as Liesl shares her grief through each day, but it is a blessed journey. We did not just gain a son, I truly can say I gained a sister and best friend. I kept a blog during the days leading up to Jadens adoption. It is only 28 post long... but it really shows my emotion during that time. Here is the first post I ever wrote on that blog...I did not change anything....


This Blog is dedicated to turning the corner and walking into the long desired roll of being a mom. It is not the conventional way, where I get a positive pregnancy test, and make a creative announcement. For me those things I don't think will ever happen because of all that Kevin and I have been through, we have lost our innocence in pregnancy.

Actually as of now the road into parenting looks completely different then I think Kevin and I could have ever imagined. On Sunday February 15th we got a call from a pastor that I worked with a while back, wanting to know if Kevin and I have ever been interested in adoption. Yes we have but we have never felt that it was the right time. In fact right before we found out we were pregnant with Judah we were praying about moving forward with adoption, God closed that door and the door to getting pregnant for awhile.

The call from the former pastor was nothing we were anticipating, expecting or even thinking about. After he asked us where our hearts were with adoption he began to tell us about a young girl who was pregnant and if we would be interested in adopting her baby. YES!! YES!!! YES!!

(I will be very guarded with name and locations wanting to protect the birth mom’s journey and heart.)

For us it was an instant yes, with guarded hearts. As of right now we are moving forward with this adoption although we know that things could turn in another direction in a second. Sweet girl (which is how I will refer the birth mom as) is due in August. We know this family and I do have some connection with them, although as of now we are not talking with any of them to protect all hearts involved.

We are have started the process with an agency where she is from and we will began with our agency here in North Carolina which is called Amazing Grace!

I am more then excited but also very aware of the risk involved. The reality for me and wanting to be a mom is that risk is going to be involved even if I were to get pregnant, it is the journey God has asked me to walk and I am okay with that.

I have learned so much on this journey to parenting, one of the biggest lessons I have learned is that God is always good no matter what He may ask us to walk through. If I never become a mom here on earth it is okay because it does not change my love for God or my faith in God, God is good no matter what. I hold onto that reality when my arms ache to be a mother. God is my fulfillment not my children, I am already filled with His amazing love and grace!

Kevin and I are excited and are moving forward in praying for this baby and all God is going to do. Please come along side of us and pray for Sweet Girl, as this journey is scary and difficult, I am praying that she will find God, not the religion, but the relationship he longs to have with her. I am also praying for the baby, that God would place that baby exactly where He longs for them to be. We have our palms open, wanting only Gods best for all involved.
I am excited about journaling this exciting journey- even though we do not know how the God will journal the ending, I am ready to be a part of his story!